Month: July 2019

Please note that we are NOT the original writers of this blog post. All credit goes to the original writers. Find the original post as published at this link: http://invictaselfdefense.blogspot.com/2013/05/the-underreporting-of-sexual-assaults.html

Sexual assaults and violent acts are chronically underreported around the world, which is unfortunate because a lack of reporting translates into a lack of resources and programs, a lack of understanding of how uncontrolled these problems are, the promotion of rape culture, and a lack of policy making.  Prof. Walter DeKeseredy writes,”Perhaps among the most important [causes of lack of changes in policies] is that policy-makers tend to listen only to big numbers. Unfortunately, if government officials are led by some survey researchers… to believe that violence against women isn’t a statistically significant issue, they are not likely to devote sufficient resources to prevent and restrain one of Canada’s most pressing social problems.”  (1)

We see evidence of an increase in reporting in the Middle East and in Asia. 
The recent, very public and horrifyingly brutal gang rape of a woman in December 2012 by half a dozen men was certainly a turning point in India. Thousands of protesters hit the streets in the days after her passing on December 29, 2012 to push on the government to make changes, and to hold police accountable for their ineffectiveness and their attempts to stop the rape epidemic. 

In New Delhi just this past month, two 5-year old girls were raped (and one was tortured) by two guys, which follows the rape of two foreign girls (one Swiss, one British). Tourism has steadily declined to India by women due to widespread and well-founded fears. 

But is this a new epidemic? Of course not. The difference is that crimes are being reported by more women in the Middle East and Asia, and the media is being forced to listen to women speaking up and demanding policies that are better and policing practices. This is a huge step forward, and one which North American women can surely have a cue from, because we’re still a far cry from where we should be in terms of this identical problem. In actuality, 1 in 3 (two ) women in Canada will experience sexual assault, though we know that those numbers are likely higher because most girls (young girls, in particular) choose to tell no one. Part of the issue for underreporting stems from our narrow definition of what”violence” encompasses.   DeKeseredy argues,”Narrow definitions not only exacerbate the issue of underreporting, but they also trivialize women’s feelings and experiences.” (3), 

Changes in policies, the amount of programs available to women who experience sexual or violence attack and our whole culture’s attitude towards rape culture can be shifted, but the changes must happen from the ground-up for anyone to notice. It’s in not just your best interest to report it if you experience an act of violence or sexual assault, but it is in the interests of every girl out there. We are seeing progress all the time, such as in Saudia Arabia (http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2013/04/30/saudi-arabia-abuse-ad/), and in Egypt (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-22367447)so it’s imperative that we continue to advance in our policies, but progress even further in our thinking about what’s acceptable and what’s not.  http://www.women.gov.on.ca/english/resources/stats.shtml

(3) DeKeseredy, p. 7.

Please note that we are NOT the original writers of this blog post. All credit goes to the original writers. Find the original post as published at this link: http://invictaselfdefense.blogspot.com/2013/05/safety-in-city-pt-2-parking-lots.html

I have had a couple of women ask me about what to do in parking lots when they need to get to their car at the end of the night. As a girl, I know that walking into your car when it’s dark and there aren’t many people around can be a pretty nerve-wracking experience, and can definitely be highly stressful. Many women know the fundamentals about safety, but I’ll include a few ideas that might make you feel safer: 

• If possible, have security escort you to your car. I know this sounds overly obvious, but a lot of women tend to shy away from actually doing this out of the worry they’re bothering the safety guards or because they believe that they are being silly and that they should not need to ask staff to escort them everywhere. Again, this is a mentality that lots of women need to move away from. We are the only ones in charge of our security, and we most definitely are not bothering security guards whose job it is to provide security. Ask nicely, and it shouldn’t be a problem. You might have to wait a couple of minutes if they are busy, but I’d always rather wait a few minutes and be escorted with peace of mind than to venture out alone in a dark parking lot if it is unnecessary. If there are no security guards around, see if a friend or feminine co-worker can walk with you to your vehicle. If you’re alone, you could always enlist another girl to walk in the general direction of your car, or to stand by the door and make sure that you get to your car securely. . .obviously in an effort to avoid being run over). However, when you’re walking through a parking lot on your own and there are not many people around, resist this urge and try to walk in the middle of the rows. Predators rely on surprise so as to get control of their victims, so if anybody is waiting for you behind a car, they’ll need to jump from the cars to the center of the lot, giving you time to react and to hopefully run to safety. 
• Have your keys out and ready before you even walk into the parking lot. Having to spend some time fumbling through your purse means an easy target and that you’re distracted. 
• Fake a telephone call – Another great tactic is to take out your phone and fake a phone call to a husband, boyfriend or male friend. “Oh, you’re just at the end of the parking lot? Great, I am walking to my car so I’ll meet you. Well, I am not surprised, you’re the biggest guy on the team!” If anybody is in earshot, it will deter them if they think that somebody else is around (especially if that someone is the largest person on their soccer team). You always want to give the illusion that you aren’t alone, whether you fake a phone call, or call out to an imaginary person in the end of the parking lot, or even if you wave back at someone who you are pretending is watching you.
• Walk with purpose, be alert – Keep your head up, your eyes alert, your hands free (that means phone in your pocket or purse), and your ears open (no iPods). That your intuition has data Take advantage of your perceptions. Additionally, once you’re walking, make sure that you do so with your shoulders back and that you’re walking with confidence and purpose. You want to project how confident and strong you are, which will make you less likely to be targeted. 
•  Park beneath a light, and as close to the door as you can – Again, this is to minimize your vulnerability. Darkness is the predator’s ally, since it means that they can move more easily without being detected. 
  

• Avoid back, side, or secluded exits where possible – attempt to use the main entrance, since it will have the most visitors, and will ordinarily be monitored by safety cameras. 

Wear comfortable shoes – in the even that you need to run, having sensible shoes can make a significant difference. Moreover, the clacking sound of a pair of high heels in an echoing, empty parking lot is a direct sensory sign that you are a woman by herself. Certainly not the sign we want to send.  Being in a state of constant anxiety actually dulls our intuitive senses; be smart, follow the tips that I have listed above, but most importantly, listen to your senses:

• Can you hear anyone (footsteps, breathing, soft talking, music playing, etc)? 
  

• Do you see anyone (shadows moving, reflections on surfaces, a pair of feet behind a car)?
• Do you smell anything (perfume, deodorant, fresh laundry from clothing, food)? 
• Is there a legitimate cause for concern that your intuition has picked up on with your senses, or are you worried because you are by yourself, it’s dark and you’re in a parking lot? 

Learning to listen to a listen to your intuition and to develop your intuitive senses should actually be a very freeing experience, and will instruct you to let go of unfounded anxieties and concerns. Again, you should always be mindful of your surroundings, take precautions to reduce your risk and be smart in your decisions, but to be on high anxiety all the time when it is unfounded is simply unnecessary, a waste of time, and only serves to reinforce your fears and anxieties. 

Please note that we are NOT the original writers of this blog post. All credit goes to the original writers. Find the original post as published at this link: https://selfdefensemusic.com/post/185724225398

That said, I suppose advancing technology will reduce streaming waste whereas the sun is not getting any brighter for bodily. 
I am far from an expert. But I presume servers themselves are mainly trash. Then factor in the energy used. I would not be surprised to learn it is basically a pick’m between physical streaming and media for many in total waste. 

Please note that we are NOT the original writers of this blog post. All credit goes to the original writers. Find the original post as published at this link: https://selfdefensemusic.com/post/185908535858

Sorta the opposite. I thought it would be a nice opportunity.

Please note that we are NOT the original writers of this blog post. All credit goes to the original writers. Find the original post as published at this link: http://invictaselfdefense.blogspot.com/2013/05/expanding-our-definition-of-abuse.html

We, as a society, need to modify our definition of’abuse’ and expand our understanding of its scope, because operating from the narrow definition as most people understand it has profoundly adverse consequences for much too many women and their children. Lots of people (both men and women) understand the words’abuse’ and’violence’ to constitute the actual physical act of violence (striking, kicking, pushing, punching) with the result being physical harm. Often there are marks associated with this type of violence, and may serve as evidence of a physically violent incident. However, studies have found that while living with a physically abusive partner is terrifying, the long-term emotional effects of psychological or emotional abuse are significantly more pronounced. This sort of abuse is significantly harder to bring up for many women, because they feel as though they aren’t being hit, so there aren’t any issues. In actuality, many abusive men who push or slap their spouses do not view themselves as abusive because they aren’t hitting or kicking them. It’s interesting to see what constitutes abuse and violence for many. 

Research points to the fact that men that are abusive rarely change, because their abusive mentality isn’t a mental defect, but instead, it stems from his core values.  Lundy Bancroft explains the mentality of abusive men beautifully in his seminal book Why Does He Do That. Ultimately, men that are abusive are: CONTROLLING (they’ll use myriad techniques to exert and maintain control, whatever the effects on their spouse or their family), entitled (his feelings and needs come before everyone else’s constantly ), self-centred, possessive, insecure, manipulative, he twists things around so it’s never his fault, disrespectful to his partner because he feels superior to her, he confuses love and abuse, he strives to get a good public image, he feels justified in his actions, he reduces his abuse.