The Wrong Question

Please note that we are NOT the original writers of this blog post. All credit goes to the original writers. Find the original post as published at this link: http://mdpofsd.blogspot.com/2014/02/the-wrong-question.html

You can’t get the perfect answer from the wrong question. That statement was heard by me from Rory Miller.

Concerning a self-defense discussion, the wrong question generally beings as”I want to learn some moves”, or”please show us some moves”.

This question inevitably contributes to the Self-Defense Instructor demonstrating a technique to be execute into a particular situation. The problem is that the Instructor is demonstrating the”move” which he or she would use, not a move that most other people could emulate without bodily, emotional, and spiritual practice, the judgment of if the”move” is suitable for the situation, and the successive actions necessary in case that the first”move” fails.

The Instructor, by the very nature of their training and choice of self-defense profession isn’t comparable physically, mentally, and emotionally to the majority of the people seeking”moves’. Thus, the question should seem more like”Given my present lack of physical training and ability, my inhibitions from social conditioning, my mentally fearful state, and my lack of clarity regarding what would be actually happening, and my unwillingness to devote much time, energy, and resources to self-defense research, what is something I could reliable do in this [described] scenario?”

No longer is the quality of the answer dependent upon the Instructor’s own ability to execute. It is about the Student actually being able to perform the suggested”move” at a real life situation. The Instructor is currently judged on how well the Student could perform the proposed’move” regardless of the Instructor’s personal ability. The determining factor is the Student’s odds of success, not the likelihood of Instructor of success.

The problem with this more involved question is that the Student does not wish to be informed of their limitations. He or she is miserable to settle for a”movement” that’s so basic in nature it can not even be described as a”move”.

For many beginning students with the limitations of mind, body, and spirit as noted above, the best”move” if physically attacked in an asocial predatory situation is to make as much noise as possible and move away from the attacker as best they can.” Given the classic”victim” is silent and frozen in fear, loudly moving isn’t a classic”victim response”.

This”move” isn’t what the Student is searching for because the Student is asking the wrong question. A more appropriate question is to ask”Given my current mental, physical, and emotional abilities and limitations, what can I actively do to discourage being assaulted in the first place?” This question does not get asked because most people feel that self-defense begins with the assault, not nicely before it.

There’s absolutely no sexiness and glory in deterrence. But knowing deterrence is a prerequisite to understanding what to do if deterrence is not enough.